Venus, the Goddess of beauty and love, enters Libra, the sign of relationships on August 6th.
This is a happy placement for Venus because Venus rules Libra. If Venus is about ‘give and take’ and the way we relate to others, Libra is all about 1-on-1 relationships. A relationship involves two people, ‘me’ and ‘the other’.
If from Aries to Virgo we learn about ‘me’, with Libra we delve into uncharted territory. Truly knowing ‘the other’ is an art and science very few of us master, but an art and science Venus in Libra is great at.
Knowing ‘The Other’
You know you know the other when you become aware you are not alone in this word. If the opposite sign, Aries, is about the affirmation of the individual, in Libra you learn that you can only go that far if you follow your needs and wants only.
Becoming aware of the other can be one of the greatest psychological breakthroughs in one’s life. If we skip this step when it takes place naturally (between the age of 13-15), we tend to have problems in relationships later on.
Becoming aware of ‘the other’ means much more than simply acknowledging someone. It goes far beyond that. It is a deep understanding that we are different. One of my teachers beautifully put it: “If you really know someone, you cannot hate them. You can only love them”.
The problem is most of the time we think we know someone. Let’s say we notice they like scrambled eggs while we like an omelet. This is a good start, but truly becoming aware of ‘the other’ is much more than that. That deep knowing, that deep understanding is a mind-blowing experience when it happens, and it shifts your perspective about life forever.
You know you know someone not when you feel sorry for them (the psychological mechanism behind ‘feeling sorry’ for someone is self-identification, you are in fact feeling sorry for yourself).
You know someone when you’re able to distance yourself from them and become a witness. Becoming a witness, an observer, a third party, is a state of complete acceptance without personal bias to alter the event, find fault, or judge. A good way to think about a witness is really to envision a third party, a third person if you like, that is not you, nor your partner.
That is ironic because relationships are about two people, right?
A successful relationship involves two people, but also a third entity that can see things for what they truly are.
Libra And Open Enemies
Interestingly enough, Libra also rules our ‘known’ or ‘open’ enemies. In contrast, Pisces, the last zodiac sign, rules the ‘hidden enemies’.
This is an important distinction. Who are your known enemies? People you agree to disagree with. With open enemies you always know where you stand.
Everyone has ‘enemies’. If you are in business, these are your market competitors. Open enemies are crystal clear about their intentions, and they won’t harm you if you play by the rules. Policemen are also open enemies. They become enemies only if you break the rules.
In fact, you can gain power by knowing your enemies. Benchmarking against a competitor can push your own business further, because it shows what your weak points are.
Libra, The Scales And Reason
Libra is the sign of the scales. Libras are being misjudged for being all about fairness and compromise. It’s much more than fairness and compromise about Libras. A scale simply shows how one side of the scale relates to the other. Is it heavier, or lighter?
A scale is a measure of objectivity. Libra is, beyond all, the sign of justice and judgment. It shows you where you’re at – really. We all think we are right, we are so convinced we are right, that we do stupid things in the name of what is right from our perspective. But what is right for us may not be right for others. That’s why you need an objective measure of what’s right. That’s what Libra is about.
Libra is the only sign of the zodiac that is not a human or an animal – it’s the only inanimate object of the zodiac. Libra is the sign of reason.
To be good at relationships, you need to have reason. After the Leo romance and the Virgo adjustment, for a relationship to succeed, you need to be able to be rational about it. This is the secret of successful relationships. Only after, the relationship can reach intimacy and depth in the sign of Scorpio.
Libra is about a deep understanding of the other, with their differences, with what makes them special. Libra is a triumph of differences, of what makes us unique. If Aries is ‘take me as I am’, Libra is “I take you as you are because I understand you are unique and because I am able to see you for who you are. Because I see your true colors.”
Venus In Libra
Venus is a feminine planet – in relationships, it shows the feminine dynamics. If Mars is the pursuer, Venus is the one who chooses the right match.
Libra is a cardinal sign. Cardinal sings love to take the initiative, start new things and be in charge. In courtship, it’s Venus the one that chooses and invites, it’s Venus who sends the courtship signals.
Venus in Libra is the iron hand in velvet glove. She knows what she wants, and she goes and gets it! Venus is choosey in Libra, and makes the best relationship decisions.
Libra rules all our 1-on-1 relationships, while Venus is about what we like and dislike.
Venus in Libra shows what we like and what we dislike in relationships.
Sometimes you just ‘like’ someone, as simple as that. You don’t have to like everyone, because not everyone is your match, and it shouldn’t be. Liking the right people and being liked in return is waaay more important than having everyone liking you a little bit.
But to figure out who you like and who you don’t, you need some interaction. You need to have an exchange, a relationship with that person. Liking someone’s photo on Instagram doesn’t necessarily mean you have a relationship with that person. A relationship starts with being open and honest about who you are.
A relationship starts with showing up.
Venus, Libra and Relationships
Both Venus and Libra are concerned with relationships that’s why Venus and Libra are a great astrological match. Venus is in domicile in Libra, and this means that anytime Venus is in Libra we will all get better at what Venus and Libra are good at: relationships.
Being good at relationships means you find the right ‘balance’ (yes, the scales) between what you want and what the other wants. This doesn’t mean equality, and not ever fairness by the standard definition. Life is not ‘fair’. Life is ‘right’. You get what you need, when you need it, even if you think it’s not fair. Life is divine justice.
Sometimes, your needs are more important. Other times, your partner needs are more important. Knowing what, when and how are Venus in Libra’s specialties.
Having good relationships doesn’t mean you have to always compromise. In fact, this is a recipe for disaster. Your partner wants to grow with you. They want to know when they’ve gone too far. They want your feedback, even if that means pointing to what they’ve done wrong.
But ruthless criticism is also a recipe for disaster. And here comes the magic of Venus in Libra.
Venus in Libra knows how to give feedback without sounding like criticism.
I know, from all qualities in the world, this one doesn’t sound particularly sexy. But it is probably the most useful one.
Knowing how to give feedback in the right way is that one skill that can basically guarantee success. Master this and you will master relationships: with your romantic partner, with your colleagues, with your family members, with pretty much everyone.
Venus in Libra is about understanding the other so you can reach a win-win outcome.
The secret of successful relationships is having both parties win. Everything else is either short-term, or it will be taken away from you sooner or later.
Venus In Libra Transit
The upcoming Venus in Libra transit is a great opportunity to improve your relationship skills.
Notice how you react to others, or how others react to you. What is different? What does it work, and what doesn’t?
Venus will leave Libra on September 10th, will turn retrograde on October 4th (in Scorpio), and re-enter Libra on November 1st. Venus will finally leave Libra on December 3rd, this time rising as a morning star.
During its long stay in Libra, Venus will change from an evening star (rising in the evening, after the Sun sets) into a morning star (rising in the morning, before Sun rises).
Venus in Libra is your greatest opportunity to transform the way you do relationships for the better.
The first phase of Venus in Libra is when Venus is in Libra and is an evening star (August 6th – September 10th 2018). This is the best time to examine your current relationship patterns.
The 2nd phase of Venus in Libra is when Venus is in Libra and retrograde (November 1st-November 15th 2018). This is the time to make the necessary relationship adjustments.
The 3rd phase of Venus in Libra is when Venus is in Libra and is a morning star (November 15th December 3rd 2018). Now is the time for new beginnings in relationships. By now, you know what you want, and you know how to understand and relate to the ‘other’.