Chiron And The Narcissistic Wound

Chiron is the archetype of the wounded healer. Since we all have Chiron in our natal chart, we are all wounded healers – but the path to healing what has been wounded is not always linear, but rather confusing and counterintuitive. 

A wounded healer is someone who embraces the darkness and suffering – and from that place of acceptance, finds the path to healing and recovery.

chiron-wounded-healer

To heal, we have to UNDERSTAND and ACCEPT the wound. If the wound is not reconciled and integrated, healing is not possible. 

If we don’t accept and ‘make peace’ with the wound, we will never heal, no matter how hard we try.

Whether we will self-inflict pain, or try to “overcompensate”, by working harder, doing more, or trying to prove ourselves – we will not heal, because these attempts don’t come from a place of awareness and acceptance. 

Thankfully, Chiron can help us understand the underlying themes of our wound – so we can heal it. 

To understand what the Chiron wound stands for, let’s recall Chiron’s myth. Chiron was the son of Cronos (Saturn) and a nymph, Philyra, and was born half-man, half-horse. Disgusted by his appearance, his mother abandons Chiron at birth. 

The Chiron’s wound is, therefore, the primal wound of rejection.

We are all born with this wound, because no matter how much our parents love us, it will come a time when they will eventually reject us, because rejection is part of the identity development process.

Some go as far as to say that the birth itself is a “rejection” from paradise – since we leave the comfort of the womb, and are thrust out into what we perceive to be the cold, cruel world. 

In the first two years of existence, the infant lives in a pure narcissistic state. The word “narcissistic” may have negative connotations, but it is a normal phase in our psychological development.

We wouldn’t survive if we would not be in a complete state of “feed me” and “take care of me”. Starting the age of two, the child develops some independence and self-awareness, but he or she is still in a semi-narcissistic state until adolescence, depending on grownups to survive. 

During early childhood (usually in the first two years of life, but sometimes later), it comes a time when the infant doesn’t get the attention, the nurturing and the validation that he or she needs, and will internalize this experience as “rejection”.

This “rejection” is the primal narcissistic wound, the Chiron wound.

This wound of rejection affects the child at an identity level. The child comes to believe that there is something fundamentally wrong or flawed about him or her, and that being who they are is “not enough” to get the love and the attention they need.

Because the feelings of rejection and disgrace are so powerful, the child starts to doubt him or her worthiness and develops a self-defeating attitude. 

Because we are so young when we suffer the narcissistic injury, we don’t have the necessary cognitive capabilities to make sense of it – so we don’t properly process the wound, and stuff it down instead. 

As a result, we adopt a false sense of self in order to protect our true, wounded self. The “true self”, our true identity, is a painful reminder of unprocessed feelings of shame, guilt, humiliation, or rejection – so we will try to hide it in the deepest corners of our psyche, not only from other people, but even from ourselves. 

As we grow up, we attempt to reconcile this primal rejection wound in two different ways:

  • We develop a narcissistic personality, a.k.a we continue to deny the wound as if it doesn’t exist and get on with our lives as if we have never been wounded 
  • We develop a co-dependent personality (or its more evolved form, empathy). 

Chiron Wound – The Narcissistic Personality

Let’s start with the narcissistic personality. The narcissist acts as if they are ‘perfect’ because they identify only with the ‘desirable’ part of their psyche. The ‘undesirable’ part of the psyche – associated with the wound of rejection – is not integrated, but projected onto others. 

The narcissist will do whatever it takes to flee from the shame and self-hatred, so they will develop a false self, a pseudo personality, a ‘mask’. To everyone else, they are ‘perfect’, but of course, what hides behind the narcissistic mask are feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.

chiron-narcissistic-wound

These are those people who appear to be extremely confident and to have high self-esteem, however, no matter how validated and successful they are, they still feel empty inside, lacking a sense of true fulfillment.

This false sense of self is nothing but a shell “I don’t want to feel those feelings ever again”. The narcissistic wound is so deeply hidden, that even the narcissists themselves are not aware they are wearing a mask – hence the projection and the need for constant validation.  

Chiron Wound – The Co-dependent Personality

Let’s move on to the 2nd Chiron wound profile: the co-dependant or the empath. If the narcissists try to cut themselves off from the wound, the codependent personalities internalize it, and live their entire life through the lenses of the wound. They believe they are flawed and inadequate, have low self-esteem and a lack of identity. Their self-worth comes from people-pleasing and taking care of other people. 

Unconsciously, co-dependent people look for a narcissist to take care of, in the hope that in the process, they can figure out their own narcissistic wound, and heal their own fear of rejection and inadequacy. Co-dependent people believe (unconsciously, of course) that they will heal by healing the other. 

chiron-codependencyl

But as long as someone is trapped in a narcissistic-codependent relationship, healing is not possible.

Healing only happens when we heal ourselves, by integrating the broken parts of the Self into the whole we’ve always been.  

Trying to heal another person when you haven’t healed yourself first can be counterproductive and will only perpetuate the wound further.

People who aim to heal others without healing themselves first are not the “wounded healers”, but the “walking wounded”.

Time doesn’t heal the narcissistic wound. It is only the act of confronting and embracing the wound that heals it.  When we have Chiron transits, this primal narcissistic wound is brought into our awareness. A Chiron transit is a great opportunity to gain awareness of – and heal – the narcissistic wound. 

Chiron In Aries – The Identity Wound

Chiron is now in Aries, and will stay here until 2027. Aries is one of the most important Chiron placements, because Chiron has a special ‘relationship’ with Aries, since it spends the longest time in this sign.

Unlike other planets (with the exception of Pluto), Chiron doesn’t have a regular orbit, so he spends more time in some signs than in others. Chiron spends the least amount of time in Libra, and the most time in Aries. Therefore, the Aries-Libra axis is a Chiron-sensitive axis.

Aries is the sign of identity, the sign of “I am”. Libra is the sign of the “Other”. Aries, the first sign of the zodiac, will do whatever it takes to develop a confident sense of identity. The Sun (our identity) is exalted in Aries after all.

Libras, on the other side, will strip their identity and aim to find it through others (the Sun is in fall in Libra). In the Aries-Libra dynamic we witness again the very essence of the narcissistic wound, which is an identity wound – with its two extremes, narcissism and codependency.

Chiron – Healing The Wound

Chiron is a symbol of the conflict that arises in the process of healing the identity wound. 

Chiron, a half-man, half-horse Centaur, represents the never-ending process of reconciliation between our animal nature, and our spiritual, divine nature. 

When we don’t integrate Chiron, we don’t reconcile the broken parts of the Self, and we identify either with the villain, or with the victim. 

When we embrace Chiron, when we bring together the broken parts of the Self into a whole, we learn that we are perfect in our wholeness, and that includes our scars, wounds and weaknesses. We learn that we are enough, and we will always be enough. And this is when healing happens.

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42 thoughts on “Chiron And The Narcissistic Wound

  1. Chiron in Aries ex-codependent right here! It took me four years to work through all this, from awareness to breaking free from narc relationships and then healing the deep wounds, which is still on-going but living a great and satisfying life now. Very insightful article I wish I had been able to read years ago!

    1. I’m dumbfounded. I’m a codependent Aries and leaving a narcissistic Libra as we speak. This gives me much hope.

      1. I’m rowing the same boat with an alcoholic libra. I’m April 4th. I don’t know where to turn next. He’s in and out of my life. I keep letting him back in.

      2. I’m under the impression that the Aries or Libra in this article doesn’t say people born those signs represent narcissistic or empathy based on birth sign. Please re-read this. I am a Libra and in no way a narcissistic person. I believe people are misunderstanding this article to justify their own issues and misinterpretation. That to me seems narcissistic.

      3. Brilliant… confirmation in word form if things Consciously have worked thru … still am … thank yu xxx

    2. Rather new, and interesting information here. Being a Sagitarius, not certain where I fit in here, yet, the dance with, The Narc, has been over a 65 year journey, of which, in the now, understanding, it was a very very confusing journey; however, I kept going until everything just fell apart in the process. It is like you spend a life time trying to create, a relationship, and a family, and discover you have spent your entire life in, An Experience, not a relationship. It doesn’t have the ability to be a relationship, let, a line healthy. So what is this toxic dance all about?

      1. I’m a narcissist and a co dependent!selfawareness is the most difficult but every once in awhile o get insight.Im also a rage aholic which I feel condemns me to a constant sense of failure!The ego can be a wretched captor!

  2. I love my Chiron, or rather I am loving him the more I learn about him. A couple of years ago, he was just “some centaur who was sensitive” (very basic knowledge). I was whinging about trying to find my archetype to learn from, lamenting my search for a teacher (wheres my teacher archetype? Won’t someone teach be my teacher? Im a teacher! This is confusing?!) – and now Ive… I dunno. Its hard to express. But, i hope this helps Chiron heal… I hope I do.

  3. Good one! Today is my birthday and Jupiter is exactly conjunct my natal Chiron, so this message is very timely for me. Thanks

  4. This is timely and allows me to understand why I’ve been having ‘meltdowns’ this week. Feeling the wounds of rejection, loneliness, repeating the ever present question in my life ‘What am I seeking?” Understanding my need to always help/fix/ heal others while I am ‘one hot mess’. (I’m also a Libra woman).
    I use Tapping to help me ‘go deep’ and the ‘Rejection’ theme and the fear of being alone in life’ has come up a lot. I need to embrace these feelings, dive into them and hopefully, Chiron guides me to come up from the deep water to resurface- with a healing in the making. Thank you for this insight into the Universe – it so helps to understand the Forces at work and why I feel like I do.

      1. I’m betting she means energy tapping, also sometimes called EFT (emotional Freedom technique). It is gentle self tapping in an order specific to your symptom on energy meridians on your body. The point is to open those up so energy can flow positively as you are able acknowledging the issue and also positively loving yourself with mantras as you tap. Good stuff. It is not the same as EMDR.

      2. Tapping EFT is a combination of ancient Chinese Acupressure and Modern Psychology to physically alter the brains energy system and body at once. Consists of tapping with finger points while remembering traumatic emotions.

  5. Great article!!! I have Chiron in Libra in the 12th house, along with 5 other planets, asteroids, etc. I experienced very severe depression/anxiety for 33+ years – now 75 y.o. My sole way to interact with others was codependency (either position). In 2004 I was told I had 2 years to Dialysis due to the drugs they had me on. This was an enormous wake-up call, and after researching into Europe I switched to an all organic whole food diet. I then increased my off-and-on-again mindfulness meditation practice to a daily practice. Within months my depression completely disappeared, within a year and a half I’d lost 73 lbs., and now–16 years later–I’m meditating 30 minutes daily. And I’ll begin teaching meditation to groups of older people and possibly to veterans. I just went thru Chiron in Aries transiting opposite Chiron in Libra. Sally

  6. I have chiron in libra ( 8th house) . My south node in aries ( 1st house) and north node in libra (7th house) Saturn in aries ( 1st house)
    Lilith close to the descendant ( 6th, almost 7th house)
    Mars in virgo 7th house.
    I have alot of 1st-7th house axis in my chart.

    I feel deeply wounded and I’ve developed abandoment issues due to trauma and ocd and I think these placements gave me some comfirmation on my chart and my fears and I would love to get some advice on dealing with those rejection wounds.

    I feel both the narcissist and te co dependent at the same time if that makes sense. It makes me feel really insecure because I demand alot but when those wounds get triggered I feel alot of shame and slip into codependent mode.

    I’m also dealing with some harsh chiron transits and a progressed mars-saturn opposition + moon in 8th house progression

    To summarize, healing is really hard and I feel like there’s alot I’m processing but I’m still struggling.

    1. Did you get any answers or have any info you could pass along? I am having the exact same experience and it is so very confusing!!

  7. Love this article. I have Chiron in Aries 1st house conjunct Venus. Chiron my constant companion… :). I’ve loved Chiron, hated it, written poetry about it, even begged for moments of acceptance around it. My wounds of rejection have always felt a little “extra”. I am now 48 yrs on this earth and while once Chiron set the course for a little girl at birth, today has molded me into a strong mystical, spiritual woman beholding a soul of such understanding. I still don’t like it sometimes but for the most, it was incredibly necessary for my evolving journey. Xoxo

  8. Wow beautifully written, and so easy to understand. My chiron is conjunct Saturn in pisces in the 10th will have to a deep look into this. I thankyou again.

  9. Great article! I am 50 this year and have my Chiron return just starting and realising I have a long-time addiction to give up for the sake of my future health. If I stop as planned now by the time it is exact my stuff will probably be coming up for healing and this is usually the point I fail and go back to my crutches.. Not this time! It’s gonna be a wild ride but am going to do it, wish me luck!

    Also, my ex was a narcissist and he had a very tight sun/Chiron conjunction in his natal which I found interesting..

    1. Good luck, Tracey. Three years ago I tackled the last of my addictions that would not just drop away naturally. In facts I had to almost die in South Africa for me to commit fully to ending it no matter what. You sound strong and determined and I wish you the best of luck, and know also that you will receive help from “the other side” whenever you tackle something like this.

  10. Thank you, one of the most straightforward and clear articles I’ve seen on this. This article has given me many things to go and focus with. Thank you to everyone for your comments they too have been really helpful. I’ve just celebrated my 50th and have Chiron in Aries. Thank you x

  11. It’s been a while since I’ve read one of these updates (shame on me!), and WOW how refreshing. Such a good one for me to reflect on and learn right now too (always is good timing). Thank you so much for these emails. True gems. Bless you.

  12. It was so great to read this article… I need to combine with your course material and start working on finding and accepting the wound.. Start working on ME! 🙂

  13. I have Chiron closely conjunct both my Mercury and Sun in Aquarius and all are opposite my Uranus and square to my Neptune. Thankfully this is not a close t square but Uranus is currently square to my Mercury Chiron Sun. I was rejected by my father and 5 year old brother at my birth. My parents divorced when I was 4 and Mom went to work and then college nights and summers for 5 years to get a teaching degree.

    My health was pretty good as a child but my nervous system was very challenged with anxiety. Have been chronically ill since the age of 16..now am 64. Luckily Chiron is in a sextile to it’s natal position in my chart while Uranus squares my Sun, Mercury and Chiron (Pholu there too). I’m an extreme empath and have devoted my life to astrology and to my twin flame who I met in 2007. Long sad story but we are overcoming all challenges and learning what is real and what is not on our Ascension journey.

  14. Thank you for clear view of the Chiron wound. I thought I had cleared this age 66, but with Chiron at 21 Capricorn I have just survived an onslaught of transitting planets through Capricorn conjunct natal Chiron. These formed squares to Saturn/Neptune (21 Libra) and a YOD to Pluto/ascendant (21 & 23 Leo) and Mercury/Mars 22 Gemini). It’s not over yet and I am still struggling to get out of ‘survival’ following that. Having spent 30 years on a spiritual path, 40 years following Astrology and a very abundant life. There is no where to go now!

    1. wow. All this Cappy stellium is right on top of your Chiron – Ialmost there! You must have a very special spiritual mission in this lifetime <3

  15. That’s so amazing I’m a Libra with Aries rising. I’m 50 years old and left my narcissistic boyfriend over a year ago. I finally realized that I am enough all by myself. And now I’ve met and live with the most Amazing Man. This article was a Fantastic Read very Informative Thank You 😊

  16. I want help to understand this more.
    I’m not sure on my exact placements
    But I’m a Virgo. Born Sept. 16 1990 8-9AMish
    I test consistently as an INFJ on Myers Briggs. But I’m borderline INFP. I do have massive attachment issues (breakups are always hard on me) and this article helps to reinforce that I need to seek understanding so I can get control of myself and be at peace. I’ve always wanted balance in my life and my pace is extremely slow as I strive for it. I look at myself and am disgusted that I should’ve been where I’m currently at in my life 10 years ago.

    1. So, I need help!! LOL! I will be the first to admit that KNOW I have to get on the healing path. Thing is, I start, stop, start, stop ….. I need a “helper”. Pisces sun, Virgo moon, Cancer rising (3-3-61). I will read til my eyes bleed but because it’s just ME, I don’t stick with it. I was rejected almost from the time I took my first breath. I avoid relationships of all kinds because I feel inadequate. Anyhow. Hey. Anyone know where I can turn to get some guidance? Not just another book to read, but a guide with a pulse? I’m a hot mess, y’all!

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