Have you ever wondered: if the zodiac signs were social networks, which social networks would they be?
In this article, we pair the 12 signs of the zodiac with some of the most popular Social Media networks.
Warning: this exercise is just for fun, so no offense, please 😉 Any resemblance to real persons is just to make you laugh.
Aries – Youtube
Youtube is all about YOU, and Aries, the 1st sign of the zodiac is all about YOU too. Aries always has something to say, to show, or to do, and uploading a quick video to broadcast to the world is what millions of Youtubers have done since 2005!
Aries is ruled by Mars, the God of war. Youtube has the most confrontational “feedback” system, and the most heated comments section. Unlike Facebook or Instagram where you can only “like” or “love” someone’s posts, Youtube has a very clear thumbs up/thumbs down counter.
Let’s cut through the chase right? If there is one sign that can handle a thumbs down, it is Aries… because let’s face it, Aries doesn’t care about what direction your thumbs point anyway.
Aries’ role is to get themselves out there and get their message across. What other people think about them is not their concern.
Taurus – Pinterest
An Earth sign ruled by Venus, Taurus loves food, nature, jewelry, nice clothes, makeup, and everything that is beautiful.
That’s why we have Pinterest boards for! So that Taurus can keep everything beautiful in one place… to be forever stored in the corners of the Internet.
Gemini – Snapchat
What better social network can keep up with Gemini’s insatiable curiosity than Snapchat. Gemini is always on the go. Like the quicksilver, Gemini comes when you least expect and leaves quicker than the Snapchat post disappears from your feed.
There are never enough goofy filters for this ‘hero with one thousand faces’ aka your Gemini friend.
Cancer – Tumblr
Truth be told, Cancers don’t really feel comfortable on Social Media. Why should they expose themselves to complete strangers? Cancers need privacy and no social network is private enough for Cancer.
When they are on Social Media, Cancers create their own curated, private space full of privacy settings and cryptic abbreviations.
Social Media graveyards on MySpace or Tumblr are still full of Cancers who haven’t deleted their accounts because they are still attached to that blog post they wrote in 2001. Some Cancers are secretly on Facebook, but they keep a low profile and don’t accept new friend requests.
Leo – Twitter and TikTok
Where do celebrities and leaders hang out? On Twitter. Which celebrities? Leos, of course. If there’s a place to show the world how influential you are, that’s Twitter. Don’t be fooled by the chatty-tweety logo. Twitter may have a Gemini ascendant, but it is very Leo at its core.
The younger Leo generation hangs out on Tiktok. That’s where Leo artists around the world can shine and show their dance moves.
Virgo – Slack
Virgos don’t waste their time on Social Media, but when they do, they are on Slack. For you, lazy non-Virgos around the world, Slack is a productivity app that has a chat function.
There is a bit of Social Media in there… which Virgos occasionally use to ‘remind’ (nag) you that you haven’t sent them your report yet.
Libra – Tinder
Where do you think the relationship-obsessed sign of the zodiac hangs out? On Tinder! Libra is ruled by Venus, and Venus is not only the planet of love and relationships but also shows us what we like and dislike. A Libra has to ‘like’ you first before anything else.
But Libra is also a gentle, thoughtful soul who couldn’t bear to reject you. And if she just swipes left, you will not even find out.
But if you both swipe right, that’s a deal! Libra loves win-wins and – and unlike other fiery signs who don’t take no for an answer – is only interested in you if you are interested in her.
Scorpio – Wikileaks
Scorpios don’t hang out on Social Media, but when they do it is to expose YOU and your dirty tricks. If you have Scorpio friends, don’t even think about tagging them on your photos and making the setting PUBLIC. You never know when you suddenly and ‘unexpectedly’ lose access to your Social Media account.
If your Social Media posts are being ‘reported’ for violating community standards – that’s your Virgo or Capricorn friend, NOT your Scorpio friend. Scorpio doesn’t waste their time with that – they will find your passwords, break into your accounts, or steal your computer.
Julian Assange, Edward Snowden, and Chelsea Manning all have their Moons in Scorpio – do I need to say more?
Sagittarius – Quora
What’s the answer to life, universe, and everything? I don’t know, but you can bet your Saggitarius friend does.
Quora is a social network where you can show off how knowledgeable you are, and answer other people’s questions. Of course, this is also the place where most Sagittarians hang out.
Sagittarians also like blogging. You know those articles that start with “How to” or “7 secrets to” or “10 things you need to know”? Yes, now you know who has written them.
Capricorn – LinkedIn
Dark suits, titles, university degrees, and career endorsements. What better place for Capricorns to hang out than LinkedIn? They will only send you a ‘friend’ request if you are connected with the CEO that they want you to introduce them to.
Wonder why your best buddy from high school hasn’t accepted your friend request on LinkedIn?
Perhaps you made the fatal mistake to upload a low-resolution, red-eyes-flash photo from the last party as your profile pic. Your Capricorn friend doesn’t want to associate themselves with you. Oops. At least, not on LinkedIn, where recruiters are watching.
Aquarius – Facebook, Signal, Telegram
Aquarius is an Air, communication-sign that is all about sharing their knowledge with as many people as possible. Aquarius, in fact, is the sign that rules over the internet and Social Media – Social Media is a network of information after all.
Facebook is THE social network by excellence. It’s where your friends hang out. Where you can meet new people you have things in common with. Where you can join groups.
However, as a result of rule-enforcing and account deletion, more and more Aquarians leave Facebook for other Social Media channels.
Want to know what the next cool Social Media is? Ask your trend-setter Aquarius friend. They are already there.
Pisces – Instagram
What’s the addiction of the 21st century? Instagram. Pisces loves being addicted and that’s why Pisces love (yes, love) to spend time on Instagram. Pisces ‘love’ to share their unconditional love with everyone. Love that photo, love that photo too, love, love, love everyone and everything.
Having a bad day? Worry not, Instagram has a filter and the ability to turn the most unflattering caption into something magical.
Instagram is also where people interested in spirituality, astrology, crystals, and magic hang out. Pisces is ruled by Jupiter and Neptune after all!
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Too funny I am a cancer rising aqua sun and cap moon . The cancer one resonates with me the most. Lol
“Truth be told, Cancers don’t really feel comfortable on Social Media.”
As a Cancer, I can confirm this. I have never had a social media account except for LinkedIn that I use only for work. Even then, I was coerced by my supervisor to sign up.
I think what is going on with all social media > this report is not factual, nor timely
The cancel culture & censorship of our voices by these social media platforms does not warrant a star sign attached to them. It doesn’t matter what star sign you are, the social media algorithms are controlling the narrative.
Also, with Snapchat & it’s age based: this is important for all parents to understand what is going on on snapchat & ticktock https://thefederalist.com/2021/02/11/snapchat-is-indoctrinating-children-even-more-than-their-teachers-are/
Agree! Well said.
Oh brilliant well done, I don’t know all the social media thingies but I do know most of them… and you hit the nail right on the head with them all… love the sense of humor… thank you so much 🙂
Found the write up on Scorpio somewhat negative. What about also reflecting the higher attributes of Scorpio which is the sign of the eagle?
As an Aquarius, very accurate! I value my individual freedom and I am not part of the mass consciousness thinking I can see beyond illusion very easily. Now, I am on censorship-free platforms like signal for chat, and duckduckgo for internet privacy search.
Correct